This is not the case tonight for everyone holding on to hope that Home and Away is a family-friendly film, because there are breakups, make-ups, everybody kissing everyone, drinks in the morning, and a punch up.
I’m going to start with Colby — the root of all the problems.
Colby’s playing with fire
What exactly would Colby think he’s having an affair with a cop’s wife who’s investigating a murder he’s in the middle of?
It is supposed to be part of his grand scheme, but Dean, Willow and Bella know it’s the worst kept secret in town so far, and it leaves a path of destruction.
Unless Colby decides to focus all the rage and energy of Angelo upon himself and thus save his friends.
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Anyway, from his fake tip-off, Angelo is back and we’re told the affair has been called off. I really hope not because I’m epically loving this affair as we don’t see any of the action. And I’m not joking, Average People have set unbelievably high expectations, and they won’t do anything else.
Now on to Dean, who seems to be intoxicated even though it seems to be the morning as well. Who am I to judge, however?
He told Ziggy last night that he was a murder accessory, but he’s still declaring his love for her.
I don’t know what to do or how to feel, but something is changing. “Ziggy says”
She goes on to explain how their whole relationship was built on a lie, what a classic line and she pulls the plug.
Again, Dean is back on the drinks, and it’s not night time yet.
They’ve all been breaking up for four minutes, then he bends in and kisses Amber practically out of nowhere.
They take things back to Dean’s house, but “killing the vibe” is the news of the split and she claims she is no longer involved in quick flings, which is somewhat different to her previous behaviour.
Now Colby learns that Dean told Ziggy about the murder of dead Ross, and things between the supposed beasts end up in a fistfight.
And because they just love to take things public, the punch continues outside and in front of Angelo and Taylor’s wandering eyes.
Dean has more beers, but now it’s night time, in reality.
He reiterates that he is “done”-a phrase that tonight is tossed around a lot, often with false pretences.
When the truth comes out, and he says it will, “they will all share a cell with each other,” says Dean. Dream about bleak stuff.
Willow drags him home, but Dean’s drunken mouth lets the wandering eye of Taylor slip.
This, of course, frightens Taylor and she calls off the affair for good because “so many people have discovered it’s only a matter of time before Angelo does.”
“This way I never thought,” Colby claims.
But Taylor needs Angelo to step up, with her source of love and affection no longer being an option.
He uses “the situation” as an explanation for his lack of interest in his wife, but his response is pretty unsatisfactory.
Can Angelo also have a personality, please? He says hardly anything and we don’t know anything about him.
And then Bella and Nikau, who are frolicking in their love bubble, are eventually sucked into the web of Colby.
Bella claims Colby is “destroying” her family and tells Nik about the affair, so almost everyone knows about it.
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Nikau pays a visit to Colby and they have a man to man, but Colby is his sneaky, cocky self and he’s not going to have a bar.
So Nikau asks Bella to move in with him to safeguard her from the rampant actions of her brother.
We cut Taylor into Colby’s car that was supposed to be in a surreptitious position. It isn’t.
And the affair is back on, then!
Justin’s operation is getting underway.
When Dr Green opens Justin up, he finds that the tumour is much more advanced than the scans indicated.
It has “adhered” to his spinal cord, and Dr Green is asking for Justin’s next of kin, Tori, to postpone the procedure because that’s “what Justin would want.”
Leah is sobbing away, regaling all of her husbands who fell victim to her curse, and how lucky she is to have Justin.
Tori continues to hide from Leah and Justin that they have not removed the whole tumour to shield them.
All of a sudden, Tori doesn’t hate Christian, and with a terribly awkward half-kiss in the elevator, she definitely shows her gratitude to him.
Tori apologised the next morning.
Christian didn’t “realize it was that awful,” I mean he didn’t get the same view that we almost didn’t match with their lips, but maybe he’s just sadly single.
Justin, who was the number one insane advocate for Jas, is in good spirits and even thanks her for her support.